Just in case you're wondering, I'll be here
www.mentalreverie.blogspot.com
Friday, April 13, 2012
Friday, October 21, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Hi.Hello.Hey.
Time check 3.15AM. My brain is rapidly processing/churning out thoughts about what I've to say. What do I have to say? A lot actually.
So I guess I'll stick to reflecting on how things have been going for me. We are already 3/4 through the year. It's amazing how fast life progresses whenever you are busy. Now that I finally have more free time on my hands,I feel so restless. I annoy myself to no end sometimes. I feel the constant need and urge to be doing something,but when I start to push/force myself everything just backfires. I suppose I'm just so afraid of feeling stagnent,I never ever want to be stuck in that rut again.
Anyway, this year has been nothing short of amazing for me. It is a year full of progress and changes. I like to have change in my life, I can't stand being stuck in an environment or doing the same things repeatedly. Mindless routines really smother me. I've really made a lot of progress, be it as an indiviual or as a '__________'
I've yet to find a label for myself.
An artist? Nah sounds too prim and proper
A doodler? Nah Doesn't really have a nice ring to it
A free spirited human bean sounds pretty good though, but I haven't been that free-spirited for the past few weeks, but things are better now. I've just got to find ways to liberate my mind and find my moment of Zen. ohmmmmmmmmm.
On the upside I've realised that I've relatively good emotional control, I don't easily show my emotions/thoughts to others, which is a pretty good thing, except to JS, when it comes to expressing my emotions it is just so easy to tell him everything and how I feel. I'm indeed extremely lucky to have a lover like this.
I have also realised that the older I get, the more I crave for silence and solitude. But of course just like everything in life it is necessary to strike a balance. Excessive noise seriously irks me to no end. I'm actually happy being who I am now, no doubt there will always be those moments of negativity and self doubt, but at least i'm loads happier with who I am now as compared to the past.
I like keeping to myself and I'm happy being that way. I've always thought that there's a certain social stigma associated with being quiet, that's just silly. There's nothing wrong with keeping my mouth shut when I've nothing to say.
Time check 3.15AM. My brain is rapidly processing/churning out thoughts about what I've to say. What do I have to say? A lot actually.
So I guess I'll stick to reflecting on how things have been going for me. We are already 3/4 through the year. It's amazing how fast life progresses whenever you are busy. Now that I finally have more free time on my hands,I feel so restless. I annoy myself to no end sometimes. I feel the constant need and urge to be doing something,but when I start to push/force myself everything just backfires. I suppose I'm just so afraid of feeling stagnent,I never ever want to be stuck in that rut again.
Anyway, this year has been nothing short of amazing for me. It is a year full of progress and changes. I like to have change in my life, I can't stand being stuck in an environment or doing the same things repeatedly. Mindless routines really smother me. I've really made a lot of progress, be it as an indiviual or as a '__________'
I've yet to find a label for myself.
An artist? Nah sounds too prim and proper
A doodler? Nah Doesn't really have a nice ring to it
A free spirited human bean sounds pretty good though, but I haven't been that free-spirited for the past few weeks, but things are better now. I've just got to find ways to liberate my mind and find my moment of Zen. ohmmmmmmmmm.
On the upside I've realised that I've relatively good emotional control, I don't easily show my emotions/thoughts to others, which is a pretty good thing, except to JS, when it comes to expressing my emotions it is just so easy to tell him everything and how I feel. I'm indeed extremely lucky to have a lover like this.
I have also realised that the older I get, the more I crave for silence and solitude. But of course just like everything in life it is necessary to strike a balance. Excessive noise seriously irks me to no end. I'm actually happy being who I am now, no doubt there will always be those moments of negativity and self doubt, but at least i'm loads happier with who I am now as compared to the past.
I like keeping to myself and I'm happy being that way. I've always thought that there's a certain social stigma associated with being quiet, that's just silly. There's nothing wrong with keeping my mouth shut when I've nothing to say.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Reports are worse than maths.
Everytime I've to write a report,I die a little deep inside.
Reports,dozens of pages filled with long-winded redundant information that nobody ( or at least 99%) will give two flying fucks about. Damn it, just summarize everything in less than 5 pages and get on with life. There's so much more things out there to do than to sit down and write a damn report. I pity the trees that were butchered just for the sake of being part of a fucking report that nobody bothers to read.
I do not see the point in having so many pages in a report. NOBODY bothers to read it word-for-word, our eyes just skim though the information. Can't we just draw a picture, tabulate a chart and save these trees (and my time).
Writing reports are like a mental torture for me, I can feel the my brain cells being fried one by one. The free-spirited spirit (hurhur) in me screaming in agony, my chest tightening as I struggle to even understand what is going on. Reports are the best way to kill creativity.
I can't even begin to describe how much i abhor writing reports. Plus, you know what is the icing on the cake? Having to write a report on something that is totally redundant and not beneficial to me AT ALL.
Yeah actually that is the main point. Doing redundant things. That is one thing I absolutely hate doing. It's pathetic, I've spent 3 years writing so much redundant information just in exchange for a piece of paper ( a.k.a My Diploma)
I'd rather film for 24 hours straight and photoshop 50 posters than to do a fucking report. I'm not exaggerating that's how much I hate writing these kind of corporate-ish reports.
Sometimes I question myself, Would I have still chosen this course if I were to have a second choice. Frankly speaking, I've no idea. Taking my friends and classmates out of the picture, there's nothing much that i've gained from this course.However, I would give credit when credit is due, and I've got to say that doing so much of what i hate has really made me realise how important it is to do something that I really love in the future.
The second thing that I'm really thankful for it's that through a lecturer I got to know about Tisch. I've been really thankful for that opportunity. Really fucking thankful. Things have changed so much for me ever since. I've really learnt so much there, not just knowledge about films but also life lessons. I can safely say that I've learnt much more there in the 3 months as compared to 2 years in school.
As much as I'm ranting now, i'm still extremely thankful for what I have now. Though on the downside, this course pretty much suck stinky moldy balls.But at least I've got awesome classmates and at a couple of lecturers that have helped me out quite a bit and for that I'm really grateful.
Reports,dozens of pages filled with long-winded redundant information that nobody ( or at least 99%) will give two flying fucks about. Damn it, just summarize everything in less than 5 pages and get on with life. There's so much more things out there to do than to sit down and write a damn report. I pity the trees that were butchered just for the sake of being part of a fucking report that nobody bothers to read.
I do not see the point in having so many pages in a report. NOBODY bothers to read it word-for-word, our eyes just skim though the information. Can't we just draw a picture, tabulate a chart and save these trees (and my time).
Writing reports are like a mental torture for me, I can feel the my brain cells being fried one by one. The free-spirited spirit (hurhur) in me screaming in agony, my chest tightening as I struggle to even understand what is going on. Reports are the best way to kill creativity.
I can't even begin to describe how much i abhor writing reports. Plus, you know what is the icing on the cake? Having to write a report on something that is totally redundant and not beneficial to me AT ALL.
Yeah actually that is the main point. Doing redundant things. That is one thing I absolutely hate doing. It's pathetic, I've spent 3 years writing so much redundant information just in exchange for a piece of paper ( a.k.a My Diploma)
I'd rather film for 24 hours straight and photoshop 50 posters than to do a fucking report. I'm not exaggerating that's how much I hate writing these kind of corporate-ish reports.
Sometimes I question myself, Would I have still chosen this course if I were to have a second choice. Frankly speaking, I've no idea. Taking my friends and classmates out of the picture, there's nothing much that i've gained from this course.However, I would give credit when credit is due, and I've got to say that doing so much of what i hate has really made me realise how important it is to do something that I really love in the future.
The second thing that I'm really thankful for it's that through a lecturer I got to know about Tisch. I've been really thankful for that opportunity. Really fucking thankful. Things have changed so much for me ever since. I've really learnt so much there, not just knowledge about films but also life lessons. I can safely say that I've learnt much more there in the 3 months as compared to 2 years in school.
As much as I'm ranting now, i'm still extremely thankful for what I have now. Though on the downside, this course pretty much suck stinky moldy balls.But at least I've got awesome classmates and at a couple of lecturers that have helped me out quite a bit and for that I'm really grateful.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Silence
I like being quiet. I don't see the point in talking so much when I've nothing better to say. I like being quiet. That's me. I love the silence. I love the solitude. I love the ringing in my ears when things get too quiet.I love the stillness of the night.I love immersing myself in my own thoughts. My own fleeting thoughts. I love the dead of the night, when ironically it is the only part of the day when I feel the most alive. I love the musky scent of the night air. The night is when I close my eyes, and feel that anything is possible. Anything. A zombie apocalypse ( still believe that it might still happen someday, zombies > Aliens any day ),attending Cannes, anything you name it.
The darkness does not scare me. Apart from the fact that I can't see shit ( I've mild night blindness). It is up to us to search for the meaning of our existence. I can confidently say that I've found what I wanted to do after 18 years. The passion burns in the deepest pits of my heart. I've never felt so alive. These days I'm probably running on passion alone ( and the occasional cussing and swearing). Passion to override the exhaustion of the late nights. Passion to ease the burden of juggling several projects at once.
Passion it is a wonderful wonderful thing/chemical(?). It awakens up a part of you that you never knew existed. It is like passion is the fuel that revs us up, like the surge of nicotine to a seasoned smoker,like the gush of blood bulleting down South to a testosterone filled youth who discovered Jizzhut for the first time.
If there's no passion, there won't even be love in the first place.
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